‘I try to take control of my own life, and suddenly I’m the villain?’: Entitled mother cancels daughter's Sweet Sixteen birthday party, despite the daughter paying for everything herself

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 7, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Many young teenage girls on the edge of 15 can't wait for a certain special day: their Sweet Sixteen. 50 of their closest friends, a venue fleshed out in technicolor, and dresses that were last in style during the Regency era. There's nothing quite like a girl's Sweet Sixteen—countless movies from the '80s made sure of that.

Sure, the parties themselves might seem a bit superficial. What they represent to the teenage girls, though, is more important—a coming-into-oneself type of deal. Clichés are clichés for a reason, after all. Not every parent's eyes will sparkle with excitement when they see the bill for all of their precious daughter's "needs" and wants, so that's why the teen in this story fronts the bill herself. Even still, her mother cancels the entire event because, well, they can. The teen explains that her mother was always this way, and she needs to stick up for herself after all of the trouble her mother put her through. Scroll to read the entire story below.

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  • The teen explains that she got a job specifically to pay for the costs, which simply speaks to her level of maturity compared to her mother. It seems as though her mother doesn't want her to grow up and is trying to nurture an unhealthy dependency, which the teen wholeheartedly rejects.

  • BLEAN
    via gibblesmash asdf for Unsplash

  • "AITA for telling my mom I deserve a say in my own Sweet 16 after I paid for most of it?"

    I'm 16F and I've basically been raising myself emotionally for years. My dad was never really around and he passed away, so it's been just me and my mom
    via jane_475
  • (45F). She loves to constantly remind me that she "put a roof over my head" like that's some prize-winning achievement for a parent. Anytime I speak up, she flips it into how she's the victim and I'm this horrible, ungrateful child.
    via jane_475
  • Since I was little, she's let her best friend co-parent me which really just means they've treated me like garbage together. Her
    via jane_475
  • best friend has always been controlling and r de, and even thinks I'm gay and has literally tried to punish me over it. My mom just goes along with it.
    via jane_475
  • Now here's the kicker: for my Sweet 16 (which is a big deal in my culture), I've been saving up from an under-the-table job. I helped to pay for the venue. I
    via jane_475
  • paid for the dress. I've put in way more effort and money than a child should ever have to. And once everything was almost ready, my mom and her best friend decided they're going to cancel the whole thing. No discussion. Just canceled.
    via jane_475
  • MS Swe задлов
    via Philip Oroni For Unsplash+
  • So I said, "Hey, I helped pay for this, and this is supposed to be MY party, I deserve a say." Apparently that was me having an attitude. She took my phone,
    via jane_475
  • made me delete social media, and said if I want the party so bad, I should pay for everything and "get a real job." Except here's the plot twist-she won't let me
    via jane_475
  • get a work permit, a license, or even go to interviews without a fight. I finally got interviews anyway and now she's calling me "ungrateful" and saying I'm trying to raise myself like that's a bad thing.
    via jane_475
  • I feel like no matter what I do, I get punished. I try to stand up for myself, I get silenced. I try to work, I'm disrespectful. I try to take control of my own life, and suddenly I'm the villain?
    via jane_475
  • So yeah. AITA for telling my mom I deserve a say in MY Sweet 16 after I basically paid for it?
    via jane_475
  • Alternative_Fill_420 NTA, this sounds just like my mom. Narcissist. Always playing victim and trying to control everything. I was told I had to "worship" the ground she walked on because she brought me into the world. I should be kissing her feet because she was my mom. I
    via Alternative_Fill_420
  • left the house at 18 and never looked back. Do the same as soon as you can. Only gets worse. I'm 32 now and even though I've tried having a relationship with her it just doesn't work. Going no contact with her is the best thing I've ever done for my own mental health. Run for the hills!
    via Alternative_Fill_420
  • catpogo2 2 short years to freedom. Work under the table. Hide all your money. Do not tell your mom about your money or job. If she finds out about your job tell her you make less than what you actually make so you can hide some money to move out. Next thing you know your mom will start charging you room and board. I am sorry that you have a mother like this!!
    via catpogo2
  • Sassquatchhh2 NTA. You're literally being gaslit in your own life. You paid for the party, you put in the effort, and your mom + her friend are acting like it's their event to control or cancel? That's wild. And then taking your phone and cutting off your independence for standing up for yourself? Yeah, that's not
    via Sassquatchhh2
  • parenting, that's control. You sound incredibly strong for handling all of this at 16. Keep standing up for yourself you're not the problem here.
    via Sassquatchhh2
  • No-Measurement9294 NTA. Your mom sounds horrible and if I was you I'd start planning to leave asap. I have a similar mother ( narcissist) and it won't get any better so the only thing you can do is leave and cut all contact. It's gonna be hard at first but you'll feel a freedom you'd never felt before !
    via No-Measurement9294

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family drama aita entitled parents entitlement AITAH reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people
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